Who are you? Where are you?

Once, there was a little prince who everyone adored, most of the people doted him. He was cheerful, full of creativity, compassion, being just, and righteous,  his ability to see good in others being the little champion of the kingdom, but they never knew his perfectionist ideals.

The little prince have been practicing his ability to paint to draw scenes coming from his imagination, having this perfectionist ideals, he always strives to perfect is craft. Getting better and better as time goes by. His parents, the King and Queen saw his potential, giving him support to everything he do, so as his siblings the princess and prince.

He’s always been friendly, as he grew up and become a young prince, his circle of friends grew larger but he never knew who’s true and who’s not among his friends. And since he’s still naive about the world, and its real face. He never expected anything to happen to him as long as he’s with his friends and family.

He never knew what was coming for him that would make his world turn upside-down, from his positive-outlook to life and all, to the negativity downpour that he will be facing.

One day, where the sun is shining  and winds blew as if it was swaying it feels like the wind was humming for a peaceful day – a fine day to go hunting indeed! So the young prince and his friends was out in the forest together with their bows and arrows to go hunting. Being confident with his skills and his never flickering trust on his friends, they went on deeper in the forest. There they spot on a deer, one of his friends shot an arrow to the deer, the deer being startled run off as fast as it can through the forest.

As they hunt down the deer, he never knew what his so-called friends was plotting, as the young prince got deeper and deeper into the forest tracking the deer. Since he’s naive, and confident and faithful he never knew that his friends was not as truthful as he saw them to be. As one aide in the kingdom told him, “You can never please everybody. Sometimes those that feels closest to you are the most venomous you can ever imagine”. And so it came out that his friends was not the true friends they seem to be.

Well, I’d like to continue this story, but then I suddenly ran out of words or events in my life that I can relate to or just got bored again, but then this was just a try to came up with a story or rather a waste of time (LOL) as I cannot finish it.

You might wonder the title does not even fit for the content of the story ( or so I think ) but then I chose that title to just express who I’ve become since the last time. I do have quite a few true friends that’s what I’m sure. but then as I am searching for the answer of who I have become over the past few years of my existence and where does the other person/personality went.

but then thank you for reading this. 

Somewhere, somehow I lost it…

I don’t know how, I don’t know why but I’ve always had that feeling that I’ve been looking for something lost in me, no that’s not the typical lovey-dovey kinda thing you would think of (I guess that’s what popped out of my head first). What I mean by this maybe is my interest in something maybe in art? or even in life, or some other passion or something in between, like I said I don’t even know it. I’ve always fed myself with creative ideas, with artworks in any form, but still I can’t find out what it is.

Although, I have thoughts or when I looked into something I imagined the sketched version, the water-colored form of whatever, but still when the urge to draw or sketch came up, there is always something that stops me or disturbs me from doing it. I’ve always been interested in creative art but I felt my creative juices, my ideas have or have been draining since I no longer practice or do sketches.

But later on I find myself with unfinished, or sometimes half-baked artworks or scribbled on artworks once I got bored of doing it. I have been searching/looking for my own art style since I’ve always observed and combined art styles from other people but then I felt it was never my art style, so I’m still in the process of finding it.

But so many things have been clogging up my mind, so many changes in my life, some are good some are bad that I need to let go of it. And also find other way other than social media to post my artworks. I think I am starting to have that so called ‘post-art-stuff-to-impress-and-show-off-and-to-have-likes-just-to-appreciate’ kinda stuff so better prevent it from happening.

So for now, I guess I’ll practice and practice until I find the style, that creative idea, or find that passion once again. Every chance that I can get.